Episode 3 REVIEW: 42 - 8/10

2013 - Brian Helgeland

The tricky thing about making a movie about a story that everybody should know is that it requires you to also make a movie that everybody should watch. It’s Hollywood doing its part to make history classes that much easier to teach by creating a week long film lesson that’s only justified because everyone has to fill out a worksheet on the concepts it was trying to get across (the cruel bastards). For this week’s lesson kids, we’re going to learn the answer to life, the universe, and everything: Baseball…errr…42.

The story of Jackie Robinson is one that’s looked as the beginning of the end for racism; not a strikeout but more that nasty curveball that the batter let go past that urges the pitcher to see what else he can get away with. It was threatening, dangerous to the integrity of the game to let a black man share the field with white folk, and 42 made sure to rub that in every chance it got with boos and hisses from the crowd, Branch Rickey repeating that “no, it really wasn’t dangerous” every single line, and the N-word being thrown around like it was the next great meme. Whereas this led to some incredibly great moments with some really powerful lines, I struggled with the overall tone and composition of this movie and I can’t really say it’s a “MUST watch,” though I still recommend it.

42 had a lot of stories it wanted to tell but never seemed to settle on which one it liked best until it realized there was only one avenue left to go down. It was like Neapolitan ice cream where, yeah it’s great to combine all the flavors and see how much they synergize and harmonize, but after a while you realize that you’re just left with the crappy strawberry to sit in the freezer ‘cause nobody eats JUST strawberry if they can avoid it. Was 42 about racism in baseball? Or was it about Jackie Robinson? Was it about the Brooklyn Dodgers accepting a black man in the ranks all Remember the Titans style? Or was it about Branch Rickey’s goal to win the pennant? Was it about money? Or was it about getting people in the seats? Yes. Yes it was, but you can sort through all that, we have more ominous trumpet music to play and Harrison Ford is solidifying his Best Actor win for next year.

I have to admit, for being a movie about racism, especially at this level, I felt 42 took it a bit passive. The amplification of the danger for Jackie as he moved towards big league ball was never really touched on. Like a zombie apocalypse game where the developers don’t add new complexities but instead just send more zombies at you, 42 left the racist-cliched fear of violence and the death threats in the filing cabinet (literally) and just decided on “we’ll use the N-word a whole lot more.” If that’s how it ACTUALLY happened…I can’t say anything really convinced me. It looked too much like it was holding back, perhaps to stay in that PG-13 range.

I can’t help but feel the same way I did about The Stoning of Soraya M. where the film was banking on me coming in with pent up anger and rage at the injustice so they felt it didn’t need to help it along. As a result, those moments of triumph weren’t looked at with the same prestige and accomplishment, they were just kinda “atta boy” moments, doomed to fade to black as quickly as the scene.

However, despite all that, those moments were cool to watch, tearjerkers of sorts because I do know of the injustice. I grew up in the South and learned about Jackie Robinson before I learned about MLK. I got my glimpses of racism watching my friends spout slurs and, thankfully, never felt the urge to jump on that wagon. But for those who don’t know, where racism at that level is now merely (wonderfully) a chapter in their American history books, I can’t feel this gets whatever job it set out to do done to completion. Too much was done only 90% and though it was a good 90%, I walked away feeling something was either missed or lost.

To me, sports are the greatest creation since humanity itself. Sports fans are the only group of people that, when the world needs to be uplifted, are eager to set aside their differences, from rivalries to life choices, to stop and simply celebrate their ability to be. We look at the events of the last week in Boston and I take note of TD Garden, in unscripted unison, belting out the Star Spangled Banner when the Bruins hit the ice again. The entire London Marathon stopping to take a moment of silence for their fellow runners across the ocean. And, of course, the New York Yankees, burying the hatchet for one day and playing Sweet Caroline as the fans sung along happily when, on any other day, that would have been the punishment for losing a bet on karaoke night. There is nothing more inspiring, more positive, and more effective at spotlighting how meaningless petty prejudices are than sports, and the story of Jackie Robinson is, perhaps, the best proof.

Sadly, I don’t think 42 did the best job of showing it. What it showed was good, really good, but it just didn’t flow and started to feel a bit stale and though it is one of the greatest stories in sports, that doesn’t mean you get to throw it on the screen however you want and it’s suddenly an iconic movie for the ages. I will watch it again. You should watch it. It’s a great biopic and worth a satisfying 8 dustbusters out of 10 from me.

 

 

REVIEW: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - 7/10

2011 - David Fincher

In the middle of typing this, I learned that Roger Ebert died. As an inspiration to me as a movie reviewer and film enthusiast, I dedicate this review to him. Another post to follow, but for now. BackLOG Episode 2: There’s something to be said for a movie that spends too much time trying to tell too many stories, realizes “oh wait, this has to end soon doesn’t it?” and still manages to be a good watch and wrap things up nicely. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo…almost does this; I could definitely tell it was trying, but I assume the writers just got too wrapped up in the idea that “fans are going to say the original is better anyway so why waste the effort?”

Now, I haven’t seen the original or read the books, but I can absolutely understand why this became the phenomenon it did…or I’m completely wrong and am making up shit. I’m going to go with “because the story and depth of Lisbeth is one of the best I’ve seen in a really long time.” That will make sense in a sec.

 Dragon Tattoo has an over-arching story about a journalist who’s charged with the task of searching for a woman who went missing 40 years ago, as well as a few side plots that really seem like they could be good enough to make a whole ‘nother movie (maybe they did, I don’t know the series). It’s a standard, relatively pale detective story that follows the same formula that most stories do when the client is some notoriously rich family, so naturally there’s betrayal, deep dark secrets, and the standard sexual abuse story. You’d think with their kind of money they could just hire out but…rich families are complete assholes.

Really, that plot line more serves as a plate for the character development to rest on like popcorn is just something that holds my meal of butter and salt. Mikael (Daniel Craig) and Lisbeth (Rooney Mara) serve as the dynamic duo in this film, each trying to deal with the shit show that life has thrown their way. Mikael takes on this assignment as it serves for a shot at redemption/vengeance against a man he just lost a libel case to (apparently there’s some evidence he missed! Oooooooh!). Lisbeth takes on the assignment because it’s her job and she doesn’t get much of a choice, but I’m ok with that because she’s pretty much who carries this movie.

Lisbeth Salander (get it? It’s like “slander”…in a movie with a libel case…ah, I found it funny) is the girl with the dragon tattoo. We say this because nobody seems to care about her name, or really anything else around her for that matter. Trapped under the care of a sexually abusive legal guardian, Lisbeth is a textbook case for anti-depressants, but you can immediately tell her wonder drug is being better at her job than you are. She’s a computer hacker and acquires incredible knowledge which she keeps in her brain and proceeds to rub in your face on an “as needed” basis over the course of the movie like M. Night Shyamalan, but with intelligence and logic. Her character is good to watch and there’s an amazing sense of empowerment as you see Lisbeth get used and abused over and over again, but bounce back, using her personality quirks and fury to deal with situations in ways that you can’t help but kick back gleefully and say “well, that works too…” She’s a character I want to root for, trying to break free from the jungle of shit she’s been stuck in for years, but tangled in one last root that won’t let go.

 Even though I had so much pleasure watching Lisbeth progress, everything else was just a bit stale. I mean, it was good…just not great. Nothing pissed me off about this movie and unlike some of my harsher reviews, there weren’t any elements that I stopped and said “are you fucking serious? You thought this would work?” it was a good watch, but one that was on auto-pilot and if there were other pieces of this that turned this series into a worldwide sensation, the American version did not represent them correctly. The mystery is very “meh” and Dragon Tattoo tries to fix that by getting you wrapped up in the secrets of the family, the libel case, and Mikael and Lisbeth’s journey, but fails to realize that really none of those are helping the plot that brought this all together. It’s very well-assembled camouflage printed on expensive cloth so you want to believe it all blends together nicely. Really, it doesn’t.

I can’t give a shit review to a movie that wasn’t really shit at all. There’s plenty of intelligence and wit in it, but something about it just couldn’t get me to that “whoa, this is amazing” level. If you watch it, which I recommend you do, you’ll probably notice that too. Like a tattoo without color, it makes a big impression and you know there’s something missing and has a lot more potential, but you still can’t stop staring. Perhaps the future movies will change my mind, but for now, this one’s getting 7 dustbusters out of 10, or in other words, one thumb up.

Episode 2: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Episode 2!!! I'm looking at the obscure list of stuff on the BackLOG this season and I'm actually starting to get pretty excited about it. This one I'd been wanting to watch for a bit! Let's hope it doesn't piss me off like Episode 1's Soraya M...

REVIEW: The Stoning of Soraya M. - 6/10

2008 - Cyrus Nowrasteh

So, I did a bit more digging on The Stoning of Soraya M. and it’s from the producer of the religious snuff film The Passion of the Christ. With that in mind, it was pretty safe to assume there was going to be some sort of bullshit message told through horrible, gut-wrenching brutality amidst what would ultimately be a horrible, gut-wrenching movie. Honestly, I would have felt better about this film if it were Soraya M.’s first adventure with a big bag of weed.

Perhaps it’s my lack of understanding of the culture, but I can’t feel the kind of outrage about the death of an innocent woman that this movie wants me to because it’s shoved in my face so much that everyone in that part of the world has accepted this kind of situation as the norm. In the case of Soraya M., based on the true story of a woman named Soraya, who is wrongfully accused of adultery so her deadbeat husband can marry a 14-year old without having to support his ex-wife (as the penalty is death by stoning), perhaps I would have felt something if everyone in the village where this took place, with the exception of two people, actually gave a shit that this injustice would cost someone their life. 

As movies about the Middle East are only really believable if they look like the Pre-Gazoo Flintstones era coupled with the same audio three tracks played at different speeds, I can’t really comment on the technical prowess of Soraya M. Not that this is a bad thing and there are some amazing films using the residential (non-military) Middle East as a backdrop (Slumdog Millionaire, Osama), but Soraya M. is all about the message and the travesty of the story. For that, it excels in two big areas: dramatic performances and the most stomach-cringing twenty minute death sequence I’ve ever seen ever. If you’re up for any of those two things, The Stoning of Soraya M. is not going to be a bad watch, but don’t expect to have a hankering for ice cream or anything after it. This movie’s goal is to make you mad.

For me, the problem here is that the message and the travesty of the story grabbed me as a gut-reaction, but as it progressed and I started thinking about it, it started to seem like details of the real story were left out for the sake of dramatic effect and emotional response. The conversations that were had that led to the conviction of adultery by Soraya seemed conveniently lacking of actual fact (ex: she was at another man’s house because she was employed there…conveniently not mentioned). Multiple times did the dialogue in this movie leave me literally screaming at the TV “you can’t be that stupid!” As the situation reached a boiling point, the entire village was clamoring for death so much that I couldn’t tell if I was supposed to be mad at the unfairness shown towards Soraya or if this movie wanted me to react to some perverted bloodlust of Middle Eastern cultures. 

But again, is this the norm? Is that what you’re trying to tell me, movie? If you want me to be pissed off on the basis that the society I grew up in is “better than theirs,” you’re adding fuel to a dangerous fire and as a film-goer, that’s not really something I want cast upon me. 

I tried to be entertained and I wasn’t. I tried to be moved and I wasn’t. Gut reaction, yes…but I’m a bit smarter than a gut reaction and in some Amnesty International, ACLU, Humanitarian cheesy shit move, The Stoning of Soraya M. had the audacity to treat this story like some “the world must know” campaign that’s supposed to infuriate the masses to demand change. I’m on the couch eating potato chips in my underwear here. I’m not really the most credible activist, guys.

I struggle with these movies because all they say is “this sucks, fix it.” I’ve worked in customer support before. It’s a pretty dumb demand. What am I fixing exactly? Injustice towards women? Bloodlust? Evil husbands? A blatant lack of due process? I can’t really respect a movie that builds up to become a two hour long infomercial and that’s kind of what this was. If this was simply telling the story of Soraya and I didn’t know what was going to unfold, I might have liked this better (If you couldn't guess, the title sorta spoils the ending). It would have felt like a STORY.

As it stands though, it was just a weak cry for help with bloody imagery, dumb, frustrating dialogue that knew the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. You make that cringe, his heart will too and apparently that’s going to mean something (see The Passion of the Christ). For me and The Stoning of Soraya M., it means 6 dustbusters out of 10. Please stop doing this.

Episode 1! The Stoning of Soraya M.

Episode 1! EPISODE 1!!!! It's here finally! Season 3 of movie reviews kicks off with a some old and some new! The box is back this year filled with your suggestions for movies I should watch (or shouldn't but you're going to make me anyway), starting with The Stoning of Soraya M. (You guys recommended some weird stuff). Check out the video here and backlogmovies.blogspot.com for the review in the next day or so! And keep recommending movies to watch!

Apolcalyptic Special Episode! - 2012 - 5/10

2012 - Roland Emmerich

When you pop in a movie about the end of the world and the last thing you see before the title sequence is the theft of the Mona Lisa, you know you’re in for a real cinematic treat that absolutely positively won’t ever go off the course of its story ever ever ever.

…Ah shit.

Taking everything out of the apocalyptic pantry and smashing it all into a two and a half hour long plot casserole, 2012 basically started off as Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure Where they Keep Looking Behind Them and Start Screaming only to turn into a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream that just sorta got dumb. Not since The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen have I gotten to play the “if the movie could have ended here but needlessly kept going, take a shot” drinking game, but if you have a big ass graphic budget and a sadistic desire to get a few more scenes of mass destruction and human death in the mix, why the hell not, right?

Unless you were living under a rock (with the exception of those living under pyramid shaped ones in Mexico), you probably heard that the world was supposed to end on 12/21/2012, and this movie decided to take that to heart by doing the only naturally creative thing it could think of: blaming Mother-fucking Nature for it. In this episode, a massive solar flare erupts on the sun that starts melting the Earth’s core and scrambles every possible atmospheric circuit on the planet so that dickholes like Dennis Quaid can’t just blame it on “a weather cycle.” (Pussy.) 

As monument after monument topples down in very visually impressive sequences of “things made of nothing but dust or glass falling,” the story focuses on the intertwined lives of families, scientists, politicians, and workers trying to survive the ordeal, specifically the family of Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) who has kids which is why you give a shit. Whereas the first half of this is a pretty good watch of “run, run, run, look behind you, scream, run, run, run,” 2012 regularly sneaks in hints of conspiracy that ultimately lead to a ridiculous turning point where you, the viewer, get blindsided for 45 minutes because the film decides it wants to send out a message about the value of a human life.

In the grand scheme of things, 2012 follows the same formula of a struggling couple having great sex where it begins with completely pointless denial, moves to a massive climax, dribbles into nothingness for an hour and then decides it wants to have a serious talk about the state of the relationship. The “destruction of the world” is truly breathtaking, but once that’s over it’s an hour and a half of just boring politics with pointless danger thrown in by the convenience of “oh, the weather has decided randomly to adjust our time table to exactly the amount of the time the current plot point needs to ‘cut it dangerously close.’” (Another drinking game that could be played with this movie.)

Like The Day After Tomorrow, 2012 tries to play the “power of family and relationship overcomes all” card and it just makes for a movie that’s full of eye candy with no actual flavor. This is why I liked Knowing as a much better apocalyptic drama because it didn’t try to mess with the formula and force you to root for anyone’s survival; you just got to sit back and watch as the world went boom and its twist had a certain serendipitous, yet uplifting feeling to it that wasn’t fucked around with by politics. If you’re doing an “end of the world” movie, do it fully: either destroy it (like in Knowing) or save it (like in Armageddon...but never LIKE Armageddon…ever). It just feels weird to sit for two hours and say “fuck, 9/10ths of the population is dead…but I’m glad those two made it!” You’re just kind of a selfish asshole at that point.

For impressive visual effects and a first half that was pretty amazing to watch, I give 2012 half credit: 5 dustbusters out of 10. Because fuck the second half. Seriously. If the Mayans were still around, they’d all die laughing at that nonsense.

Episode 6 - Safety Not Guaranteed - 9/10

Safety Not Guaranteed - Colin Trevorrow

I remember the times when I was five years old and I’d have a giant box and would imagine it was a race car or a rocket ship or an airplane flying through the air, all the controls magically working and all I had to do was hold onto the steering wheel and spout gibberish to the control tower. We all did this and from these fantasies, some of us were inspired to grow up and become race car drivers, astronauts, or pilots. Others grew up and were convinced that giant box really was a race car, a rocket ship, or an airplane and they held onto that box and went crazy in a dark alley somewhere or in an old house in the middle of the forest where sane people dared not tread…unless they wanted a good laugh.

When Kenneth Calloway was five years old, his giant box was apparently a time travel device and years later, there is still some part of him that believes he’s really capable of going back in time. So tells the story of Safety Not Guaranteed, inspired by an actual 1997 classified ad where someone was looking for a partner to travel through history with, granted that person brought their own weapons (because…duh).

Desperate for a story/vacation, Seattle magazine reporter Jeff Schwensen (Jake M. Johnson) decides it would be in his best interest to do a piece on the man behind this wild request and drags two unenthused interns to Ocean View, Washington so they can do all the work and he can enjoy some R&R (ah, the power of interns). Having already dealt with many “sane” people who just wanted a good laugh, Calloway dismisses the request for an interview which forces the trio to acquire information through more desperate means.

For anyone who’s ever been or worked with an intern, “desperate means” means “intern gets to make an impression.” In Star Trek, these people are called “ensigns” and they wear red shirts and we feel for them the moment they become part of an away team. In Safety, this doomed role was to be played by Darius Britt (Aubrey Plaza) whom the film ultimately focuses around. 

Darius is a girl whose giant box was an airplane and she’s been on autopilot since the death of her mother. She’s aware that she should have goals and dreams, but nothing has really inspired her to do more than wake up, do stuff, and go to bed. Life is mundane and the “opportunity” to investigate a whack-job like Calloway is just another slap in the face. 

However, if there is anything that is the anti-thesis to the mundane, “a whack-job who thinks he can travel through time” pretty much takes the cake so when Darius pretends like she’s a legitimate responder to the ad, she does so with such a profoundly perfect lunacy that it’s almost like some alter-ego put in the ad themselves and summoned her real self to go through the motions.

Safety plays out the bond between Darius and Calloway perfectly. From exquisitely playful dialogue to purposely exaggerating conspiracy theories, to racing through the city like super-spies, it was reminiscent of the times my friends and I would embark on missions through the hallways of my house. The insanity of this dynamic duo is one step below “they should probably take medication” and one step higher than “the floor is hot lava.” It’s perfect, charming, funny, sweet, and what was originally “let’s make fun of the psychopath” quickly changes to a mindset where you just want to believe. 

Calloway’s madness is hilariously genuine, but I was so drawn in to Darius taking the wheel and enjoying the thrill of the flight that I started to feel bad that it was all a ruse and this movie played into that reaction (like a jerk). It was the same blissful conflict that occurred when all of the mental patients in K-Pax kept staring out a window searching for “the bluebird of happiness” that I just felt sorry for them until that incredible moment where the damn thing actually showed up and suddenly, it was all worth it and I looked like a jackass. 

Safety Not Guaranteed followed the K-Pax formula in a lot of ways, but unlike K-Pax where the relationship was one of intrigue and mystery, this was one of hope and passion and a group of people rekindling a lust for life through such an unlikely situation and as a result, this was one of the most fun watches I’ve experienced all year. 

In a review I did for Purple Violets back in Season 1, I stated that ”independent films have the ability to surprise you because they can't fall back on big actors and big special effects; they simply focus on story.” Safety Not Guaranteed is an incredible example of that and with my highest recommendation of the BackLOG this year, I award it 9 dustbusters out of 10. Of course, if these guys did their research, they would have known that all you need to travel through time is a hot tub and a crazy energy drink.