It’s not very often you come across a movie that has so little faith in its own scenes that even it refuses to finish them before moving on to something it hopes will be slightly more interesting. Paranoia is a film where its title only refers to its own self-inflicted feelings that someone will realize by minute 2 that this movie doesn’t have an ounce of wit and intelligence. To think that I was actually excited to see Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman go at it again but, oh wait, clearly those who wanted to see a smart corporate espionage battle between two distinguished veteran actors isn’t the target demographic. Hmmm…who would look good either in a snappy suit or with their shirt off?
Liam Hemsworth plays as Adam Cassidy, an ambitious moron who, after fumbling a pitch so bad (I guess…) he gets his entire team fired, decides to blow $16K from the corporate account on drinks for himself and 4 other people (do the math and it sets the tone nicely for the rest of the movie). Threatened with jail by his ex-boss Wyatt (Oldman), Adam gets charged instead with the task of infiltrating and stealing a cell phone prototype from his rival, Goddard (Ford), and so the game begins. Outfitted to be the perfect candidate with a new car, apartment, wardrobe and other movie-trailer materials, Adam lands an executive job and starts his spying ways.
Juggling the demands of Goddard and Wyatt, Adam eventually realizes just how much of a pawn he is, but what tries to be an elaborate chess match plays out like a game of Candy Land, with all of the key players chugging along an obvious, boring path waiting for someone to get stuck on Gloppy the Molasses Monster so they can point and laugh that their grand strategy is working. The big issue I had with the plot was that there was never a tense moment, a creative move, or any action that required an ounce of brainpower. It was “get in and get the thing” and that’s really all that Paranoia felt would be good enough to get its story across as if it were the first movie about espionage ever made and the audience would have zero knowledge of what to expect.
When the film isn’t drudging through its lackluster attempts at suspense and mystery, it tries to develop a romance between Adam and head marketing girl Emma, whose chemistry together is like that of oil and bricks. Clearly an object and nothing more, Emma’s backstory as “the woman who busted her ass to succeed in a man’s world” is completely wasted as her only scenes involve pointless (and incredibly dull looking) sex or her wondering if everything is ok only to have the scene skip to Liam lying in bed with his shirt off again.
She, like Adam, like Wyatt, like Goddard, all lack any sort of personality, as if they are aware there is a script behind everything going on and they are merely going through the motions. The dialogue is lazy and the double-crosses (not a spoiler…it’s an espionage movie…) can be seen from a mile away; I was amazed that every key moment didn’t end with “and I bet you didn’t see that coming.”
I have to make note of the editing here. The flow of Paranoia is like a high-def live stream on a 1G connection. Scenes randomly and uncomfortably just end, leaving you wondering if it was intentional or if the director couldn’t get a single good take and just cut out what wasn’t working. The movie tries the digital-twitching effect from time to time and the overly generous “security camera” shots stop having meaning the second you realize nobody was actually doing anything of value with them. Perhaps to get big name actors like Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, and the almost completely ignored Richard Dreyfuss, the movie had to make some cutbacks…like color.
This movie wasn’t just bad, it was obnoxiously bad. From the ludicrously pale and unrealistic exchange between Wyatt and Adam that starts this nonsense to its 10 minute voice-over at the end that basically says nothing more than “and I was ok,” I can’t help but feel that Paranoia knew early on that it was wasting your time, but was really hoping that you’d be too stupid to notice. I can’t help but feel a little bit offended.
Do yourself a favor and skip this one. If you’re craving a good corporate espionage movie, filled with wit and charm and engaging characters that pull you into a great story and don’t treat you like it’s your first day out of the womb, I urge you to watch Duplicity instead. These types of movies should really be left to the big kids and Paranoia is a perfect example why. Paranoia gets 3 out of 10 from me only because I really needed to catch up on sleep and this coma-inducing crap is exactly what can help get me there.
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