It's going to be difficult to write this review without giving away all of the fun little twists and turns that made this movie way better than I was expecting, but I'm going to give it a shot because that's just what I gotta do. A Perfect Getaway takes your standard “terror-on-the-beach” scenario with a newlywed couple on their honeymoon with killers on the loose and life size Pac-Man and a lot of gratuitous sex. Oh wait...that was Club Dread. Nevermind, this is just terror-on-the-beach with killers, couples, and just a little boob because, you guessed it...I have the Unrated Director's Cut and apparently that's a rule no matter what kind of film it is (See The Bible: The Unrated Director's Cut).
This story follows newlyweds Cliff (Steve Zahn) and Cydney (Milla Jovovich), not to be confused with the more common spelling of that name S4dn47$ey. Sorry, I have a thing against people who fuck with a name's spelling to make it that much harder to find on Google. These two lucky people are doing the casual island hopping of Hawaii, with the ultimate goal of finding that one beach that nobody's heard of (by which I mean everybody's heard of) so they can relax in the most perfectest place on the whole wide world.
In their travels they hear about the murders of another newlywed couple on their honeymoon that took place just outside of the location they were just at. Naturally, they're paranoid, and then the movie gets paranoid, which makes the audience paranoid. Every new character introduced starts out as a suspect and if even so much as a shadow is out of place, then they look like they have something to hide. Getaway does a great job of giving you a lot of puzzle pieces to play with and doesn't mind the fact that you probably have 5 different ideas about what's going to happen.
Despite being told that the police are looking for a man and a woman, Cliff and S4dn47$ey find the first man and woman couple that seems normal, Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and Gina (Kiele Sanchez) and hangs around them to get to that wonderful beach that's apparently a sanctuary where no killer dare tread (just too much of that “fucking duh, it's a perfect kill spot” feel to it). Coming across suspect after suspect while at the same time playing the “keep your enemies closer” game, we get to enjoy the far-fetched tales, psychotic behavior, and the beautiful scenery that accompanies this group on their journey.
I appreciated that this was a film that never lost focus of the threat of murder, but it also never really consumed the movie either, even though it was the only thing that over-protective, newly-married Cliff could think about because that is kind of his job as the dude. Yeah, there were murderers on the loose but that doesn't mean you drop everything, spoil your honeymoon and ignore the amazing surroundings, and Getaway lets you do that and then doubles back and says “but maybe that's what killers do...” (mwahahahaha...) and just like that you don't trust anyone...and you're curious to see which stories are going to check out. The common anecdotes that two couples meeting on a vacation would normally talk about become twisted and turned into evidence, egos become suspiscious things to have and the paranoia sets in like a summer sun over the beaches of Kuaui if you know glowing yellow eyes will start peering out of the jungles after dark.
Nothing is safe here and the twist grabs you a bit and, although it's possible you might have guessed it (it's Kevin Spacey. It's always Kevin Spacey), it's still a bit of a shock and the rest of the film picks up with just the right amount of intensity to keep you in suspense until the very end. Though it did overglorify itself with a LONNNNNNG backstory, it didn't leave you sitting there like an idiot wondering how you missed it, but instead became a thrilling cat and mouse with some very creative, VERY subtle and yet very effect post-production techniques to create a fast-paced, action-packed conclusion.
Though not a holy-crap wow movie, once A Perfect Getaway picked up steam, it really took off and became a really fun watch. A solid thriller...short thriller...that I would gladly watch again, I give this 8 dustbusters out of 10.
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